Body Mind Soul

​I don’t care what anyone says… cancer effects not just your body, but your mind and soul as well. Each step of treatment tends to pick on one more than the others, but they all get their fair share of battle.
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BODY – Radiation has certainly done a number on how my body looks and feels. 30 radiation sessions, 6 weeks, 5 days a week, has left me burnt, stiff and sore. My team of doctors rushed starting radiation as soon as it was safe. That meant I was still dealing with recovering from surgery, while starting radiation. I had lost some of the range of motion of my arm, as well as strength. I also developed a condition called cording. My second surgery required axillary lymph node dissection, which means that a ton of lymph nodes were removed during my mastectomy. My physical therapist says it is caused by scar tissue pulling on muscles making it look like you have guitar cords running down your arm. It also the reason why my range of motion is greatly reduced. The good news is with a bunch of exercises, some stretching and massage the cording is gone. Radiation can cause the cording to return, so I will continue with physical therapy for at least another month.

Also, since I had about 12 lymph nodes removed, I am now prone to Lymphedema. Lymph nodes are like little filters for your body. With having so many removed, there is a chance that they can get blocked up and cause swelling in my left arm. Radiation can cause scarring and blockage, that will further increase my risk. To help combat this risk I wore a compression sleeve during treatment. Going forward I can never have my blood pressure done on my left side, nor can I have an IV put in my left arm. I will also be that girl that wears a compression sleeve while flying. This is just to help keep fluid moving in my arm and to prevent buildup. The plus side is one treatment method is massage. So, if you know if anyone that is trained in lymphedema massage, let me know!

MIND – These last few weeks my mind has been all over the place. I am so disappointed that I can’t say I’m done with treatment. There are all the videos on social media of people finishing up radiation and ringing a bell in celebration. I don’t get to ring a bell, and while I can celebrate finishing radiation, I still have 6 more months of treatment to go. While I understand that the chemo pill will help me live a longer life, I’m just not looking forward to it. What sucks is while the side effects are supposed to be nowhere near as serve as the IV chemo, the side effects tend to vary greatly per person, so I am just keeping my fingers crossed that the side effects I get are minor.

I’m also trying to keep my mind busy so it will not focus on my burnt noob (Dawn speak for No Boob). The plus side of having a mastectomy is that my chest area is pretty numb still. I can tell that is hurts, I just can’t feel how much it really hurts. I’ll take the win where I can.

I’m also trying not to focus on the what ifs and what could possibly be in store. I am doing my best to focus on what is going on here and now. The unfortunate thing that cancer has given is extreme panic attacks. It’s hard when people, as well meaning as they might be, ask when my next scan is going to be. There is so much healing that my body has to do before we can even discuss doing a scan. I don’t want to really think about it right now, because it is so far out of my control.

SOUL – Trying to focus on the little, positive things is what’s keeping my soul alive. I'm hoping that I can also get back into cooking and creating recipes for you all in the very near future. Cooking and being in my kitchen is really my happy place. The chemo pill isn't supposed to mess up my taste buds. Keep your fingers for me.

What my soul really needs is to spend some time on a beach, with a cocktail in hand, but that will have to wait a few more months. In the meantime, a quick trip to Nashville will do the trick. There isn’t nothing some good country music and excellent food can’t fix.