Oh Crap!

​My goal was to post this earlier like back on May 29, but life has an interesting way of delaying your plans. I am doing my best to give myself some grace when personal projects are not don’t on time, I hope you can too.

I received the results from my PET Scan last week. Well, I ended up going over the results twice. The first time I spoke with the doc that was handling biopsy on my lung. She is also a surgeon that handles various cancer surgeries. She broke the news that the intense back pain was from breast cancer that has spread to three different vertebrae in my spine. Well crap! I wasn’t expecting that. She then recommended that I try an ablation procedure on it. The procedure is done during a CAT scan. They line the needle up with the cancer and freeze the cancer cells. Once everything is all frozen, she will add a bit of a cement product and that will seal the deal. Once I’ve finished chemo again, I will need to do a bit of radiation on it to finish it off.
 
She then explained what she did for the lung biopsy. I laid on my stomach and they numbed up my right shoulder. She then used the CAT Scan to guide her and do her magic. The whole procedure took about 15 – 20 minutes. I then had to lay there and chill to make sure the lung wasn’t punctured. After about an hour they did an x-ray and it came back good. The discharge paperwork was completed, and my mom came and picked me up and took me home. Mom helped me finish so laundry (Thanks Mom!!) Once the hubs arrived home “the changing of the guard commences”.
 
The downside to taking all these pain pills is I can’t drive. On Tuesday my mom came down to pick me up and drove me to the chemo doc. I met the hubs there. They very quickly got us into our own room. Before we knew it the doc was with us. She went over the info that the other doc gave up about my vertebrae. She agreed about the ablation procedure she mentioned and got the paperwork started on it. We didn’t have the biopsy info back, but she was able to say that it was about the size of a golf ball.
 
There was a bit more info… the PET scan is showing three, pin size cancer spots on my liver. Well crap again! Once more info is available from the biopsy she will be able to give me all the options available to us and make a decision on a chemo plan. So we went home and I cried. This was not on my to do list for 2023.
 
As I slowly came to terms with my new fate I came to terms that I would be doing IV chemo again. Thursday evening my chemo doc called and the mass on my lung is triple negative breast cancer. I was discussed at tumor board earlier in the week and they felt Carboplatin/Gemzar would make the best option to kick the cancer out of my body. It is set up to go chemo on Thursday, then chemo the next Thursday, then a week off. So basically 2 weeks on, one week off. This will be done for a few months. Then a CT scan will be done to see how things have progressed.
 
Before we start with the chemo adventure, the docs wanted the whole ablation procedure done and out of the way. They wanted me at the hospital at 8:30am. Mom did the drop off and I felt like I was back in school. The whole procedure went right to plan. They gave me some twilight anesthesia, which does a great job of killing the pain, but they can still communicate with me and vice versa. Thank goodness I could communicate with them! About half-way though my pain level went off the chart. It was so intense I didn’t think that I could handle it. They were able to bring it back down. As they would continue with the procedure there would be pain flairs that I would moan out letting them know about the pain, and they found away to take care of it.
 
Finally, the procedure was over. If it was possible, I would have danced a jig around the entire hospital. Now we needed to figure out how to keep the pain at a low level, so I could go home. Hour after hour the pain kept bouncing around. It was decided around 4pm that I would be spending the night in the hospital. It was safer for me, so I said yes Mom and the hubs went and picked up a few things for me, a girl needs her snacks and phone charger. Once I got in my room, they had me order some dinner, very exciting soup, bread roll, jello, ginger ale, and the best dang cup of tea that I had had in ages. Once I had eaten my pain level seemed to calm down. We finally had reached a good spot, so mom and my hubs headed home and drifted off to sleep. The night was uneventful. We kept the pain meds at the same level, and it seemed to work out fine.
 
Morning came and we put together a pain management plan. I order breakfast (2 cups of tea this time) and the hubs a I headed home. I put on a fresh PJs and made myself comfortable on the couch. The hubs decided to work from home for the rest of the day, just in case I needed anything.
​
I am still extremely emotional about all of this and am working on coming to terms with my new road head. I have been trying to lead this parade with grace and positivity and I hope to continue doing so, but well, I am still human. If I happen to have a moment when I fall from grace, please give me a hug as you help me up.