Rebel Without A Cause

The month of October saw my chemo treatments going as planned after my break. The Neupogen shots did the job in keeping my white bloods cells up. In fact, it did so well that after the first round I was able to cut back to only 2 shots, instead of 3. My arms were happy to hear that! I was able to complete 3 rounds of Taxol, for a total of 8 rounds. Whoo hoo! Only 4 left... or so I thought.

As soon as I started Taxol again, the numbness in my heels and tingly feeling in my tongue returned. It was mild so the nurses said to just keep an eye on it. The minute it got worse I needed to call. I woke up on November 4 with the bottom of my left foot and my entire mouth numb. Oh no! I spent a few hours that morning walking around hoping that would get the feeling going in my foot and drinking lukewarm tea, so I didn't burn my mouth. Nothing was working, so I messaged my Chemo doc what was going on. Within two minutes of hitting send, my phone was ringing. It was one of the awesome nurses wanting more info to pass onto the doc. I explained everything that I was feeling and also mentioned that I was feeling like the lump had gotten bigger because it was starting to get really tender. The nurse promised to call back as soon as she spoke with the doc, so I settled in for another round of the waiting game. Thankfully it wasn't too long of a wait, but she had bad news for me. Since the neuropathy, aka the numb tingly feeling, had spread to my entire foot and was starting in my mouth, we needed to postpone the next chemo treatment for at least a week. Crap! There goes being done with chemo by December. The nurse then said that the doc would message me back with more details, but to take it easy the next week and to be careful with my foot and mouth. The doc's message was pretty much the same thing but did touch on my concerns about the lump changing size. My ultrasound was scheduled for next week, so she wouldn't speculate anything but would let my surgeon know my concerns. Next thing I know the surgeon's office is calling to schedule me to come in after my ultrasound. At this point I'm trying not to worry and just let it all play out, but I won't lie... I was an emotional mess! 

My ultrasound appointment came quickly. The tech was super cool and indulged my geeking out by explaining what everything meant. She then asked if I remembered what the size was of the tumor. Ummm... you mean the number part? Nope! She laughed and said she would find it in the file. She then went to show the images to the doc on call to make sure that they were good. I was a bit concerned when she came back with the doc to take another look. It was the doc that did my biopsy, so it was nice to chat and say hello. He then had honor of giving me bad news again. The lump had grown in size and is now bigger than when he did the biopsy back in May. Crap! Okay, now to start the waiting game again.

Thankfully, my chemo doc messaged me right away letting me know that she saw the biopsy and was sad that we didn't have good news. She would be meeting with my team of docs in the morning and would call as soon as they had a game plan. Do they not know by now that waiting is not my favorite? The next day came, and I heard back from my doc. Surgery would be up next, as soon as it could be scheduled, and more chemo will be done after I have healed. Ugh! The ball was now in the surgeon's hands.

The next day was my appointment with my surgeon. I brought my mom with me for support. I would hear my fate on if she would be able to keep it as a lumpectomy or if a mastectomy would have to be done. Ever since I heard that the lump had grown the anxiety of having a mastectomy had increased by a million. When my surgeon walked into the appointment room the first thing, she said was they were hiding an appointment from me. They had reserved the surgery room for Tuesday, just in case. She then examined my breast and was extremely certain that she would only have to do a lumpectomy. Finally, some good news! She then explained that once the tumor was removed it would be sent off to be extensively tested to see what chemo drug it is not resistant to. The results would hopefully be back by then end of the week. My new chemo planned would be figured out from there. She then mentioned that every year there were about 2 -3 people that didn't respond to set chemo treatment. I was her second person for the year.

Of course, I would have to have the tumor that is really a rebel without a cause.